She told me one night that she thought she might be falling for me, and it felt like a punch in the stomach. I was so close to losing her in that instant, and I told her I couldn't feel the same way. We talked and didn't talk and cried and hugged and didn't hug and we continued being best friends, just like before.
I knew I was hurting her, every day. There were days when I would ask her if she was ok and she would look back at my eyes and I could see every bit of pain and hurt and held in tears pushing into mine. And it took 7 months, but she called me one day to tell me that it wasn't that way anymore, that the feeling was gone.
And I feel like a traitor, a liar.
Because when she sits near me, I lean involuntarily towards her.
Because when I see her laughing across the room, my heart jumps.
Because when I see her walking towards me, I lose my breath.
Because her sleeping head on my chest is the most precious thing I've ever felt.
Because her voice, singing above the guitar, is the most perfect thing I've ever heard.
Because she's the last thing I think about every night.
Because I keep every note she's ever written me.
Because her face is captivating, and the way she moves fascinates me.
Because when she playfully kisses my cheek, something drops in my stomach.
Because I was lying when I said I couldn't feel the same way about her.
I love her.
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